Reflection on Manhood for National Man Day

Today has been designated by a group on Facebook, National Man Day. The effort is a bit tongue-in-cheek, and in addition to some intended silliness about blowing things up and slugging each other for no reason, there is some mention about living up to your responsibilities and being a good father. Good job as far as it goes, but it needs to go a lot farther.

The biggest mistake people make when they think about what it means to be a man is to contrast manhood with womanhood. To be a man, one says from this perspective, is not to be a woman.

This whole approach is misguided. To be a man is not to be a boy, especially an adolescent boy. To be a man is to say what you mean, to make commitments and live up to them, to do what is right even when it is inconvenient. To be a man is to have your hormones well enough under control that you can see women as human beings and not as objects. Thus, to be a man is to be beyond pornography, beyond sexism, and beyond exploitation of women because you’ve outgrown immature attitudes and behaviors.

Adolescent boys can be manipulated easily into spending money they don’t have to buy cars, beer, vacations, anything that will make them feel "like a man." Political leaders find it easy to sell war to adolescent boys. What could make you feel more "like a man" than making loud noises and engaging in combat?

Whole industries are at work seeking to keep boys from becoming real men. Anyone who has become a real man has fought to gain that status and has had a lot of help from good men giving manly, adult examples.

Thanks to the men’s groups at St. Mark’s, St. John’s, Our Lady of the Rosary, and others like them who are working so hard to become good, adult men and to provide good examples to others.